An Evolution of Self: Coitus Hiatus

What is Evolution?

“We began as a mineral.

We emerged into plant life, and into the animal state, and then into being human, and always we have forgotten our former states, except in early spring when we slightly recall being green again.

That’s how a young person turns towards a teacher.

That’s how a baby leans toward the breast, without knowing the secret of its desire, yet turning instinctively.

Humankind is being led along an evolving course, through the migration of intelligences, and though we seem to be sleeping, there is an inner wakefulness that directs the dream, and that will eventually startle us back to the truth of who we are.”

— The Story of Evolution

— Rumi, 13th Century

10.11.2012

Coitus Hiatus

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ESV)

I'm on an involuntary coital break. An involuntary yet self-induced hiatus from that which gives me the most pleasure. And it is torture.

Literal.
Torture.

I spend most nights devising elaborate plans. Ways and means to get some in my life. And they all fail.

It seems I've become too lazy to make even half the effort necessary to achieve any kind of favourable results.

I am a hopeless case. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. [Oh to be in that hard place]

I long for complacency.

Waiting for time to reveal itself to me.

iNi

need to get laid or paid [whichever comes first]

Nadya Dee

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Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."