Perpetual Persistent Procrastination

Unsure of when, where or why but somehow blogging, and to some extent writing, had become a tedious and unbearable task. 

Past. Perfect. Tense. 

There was a point in recent memory when all of this was fun, a release, an escape but that time is so far gone it’s not even in the rear view mirror at this point. 

Uncertain of what the future would hold... focus shifted to more... pressing matters:

‘Adulting’ 

That’s one way of putting it. Responsibility and the humdrum of everyday life eventually becomes a never-ending hamster wheel. 

On and on and on and on...

Even the task of figuring out what to eat each and everyday becomes a chore. 

Who was the first person to sell the lie that growing up would be fun? We need to speak. 

Nevertheless, procrastination persists into perpetuity. 

Things remain undone indefinitely, until they become rotten then forgotten. 

Never to be thought of again, lest the anxiety of inconsistency sets in and sows seeds of self doubt and unworthiness. All over again.

What is it all worth in the end? 

Living, often times from hand to mouth. Working to pay bills and “put food on the table”. 

To buy a car? A house? Some land? Then what? When well it ultimately be time to just chill and take time to one’s self?

Why does time always seem to strangle the fun and ease out of every single activity? 

The struggle is in remaining present throughout it all. Wresting control from the past while limiting mental sojourns into the future. 

Planning becomes a means of putting structure to something that can at times seem too unpredictable. 

In reality, procrastination will perpetually persist for as long as time will allow. 

The trick is to persevere regardless. 

Fight through the funk and find the strength to function optimally.  

Even if it seems too late or way past the appointed time. 

If it is meant to be it will find its way to just...

BE.

iNi 

A persistent work-in-progress 

Dee

The Innernets

I miss the days when the Internet was a safer place; 

to voice your opinion into the aether;

 to rant about your stupid boss, badmind coworker or annoying neighbour. 

An opportunity to freely express your disgust with the dutty Babylonian system which seeks to oppress us all. 

In essence, a safe space to document ones experiences on this earthly plane. 

Without fear that the world will see/hear/read and make it their own business and personal concern.

I can vaguely remember the days of dial-up connection and ICQ, Cyberjam, Idlerzlounge, MSN Messenger, Hi5 and MySpace.

  (Yes, mi know mi a age miself)

Those were simpler times though.

 People didn't worship the World Wide Web back then. 

I suppose that was because less people had access to it. So for the few who did, they signed on to their hotmail (not yet MSN) accounts and logged in whenever they needed to virtually connect with someone, anyone.

 Easier, breezier days. 

Before social media, if you had an issue with some thing or some one you had fewer options. 

I can't help but think that if situations of citizen outrage at certain online comments (which I will not make reference to here) were done in the real world less people would find it necessary to chime in and turn a metaphorical mole hill into a figurative mountain. 

I suppose that is why I don't blog as much as I used to anymore. Hell, I barely even tweet (I am a proud member of laugh and scroll twitter). 

Most of my deeper thoughts I used to share on tumblr mainly because I knew the likelihood that anyone would actually read it was zero to none. And I liked it that way. 

Especially since everyone (and them Granny) has self-appointed themselves Internet police/ informants. Sussing out perceived injustices and incorrect statements and then making it their point of duty to share it to exhaustion. 

The Innernets have unfortunately become both a blessing and a curse. 

I am, of course, glad to be able to keep in touch with my friends and loved ones in foreign lands but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish we still had dial up connection and one would need a certain level of common sense or at the very least to pass a series of simple tests before gaining access to the World Wide Web.

iNi

currently excavating my own Inner Nest

Dee