Unsure of when, where or why but somehow blogging, and to some extent writing, had become a tedious and unbearable task.
Past. Perfect. Tense.
There was a point in recent memory when all of this was fun, a release, an escape but that time is so far gone it’s not even in the rear view mirror at this point.
Uncertain of what the future would hold... focus shifted to more... pressing matters:
‘Adulting’
That’s one way of putting it. Responsibility and the humdrum of everyday life eventually becomes a never-ending hamster wheel.
On and on and on and on...
Even the task of figuring out what to eat each and everyday becomes a chore.
Who was the first person to sell the lie that growing up would be fun? We need to speak.
Nevertheless, procrastination persists into perpetuity.
Things remain undone indefinitely, until they become rotten then forgotten.
Never to be thought of again, lest the anxiety of inconsistency sets in and sows seeds of self doubt and unworthiness. All over again.
What is it all worth in the end?
Living, often times from hand to mouth. Working to pay bills and “put food on the table”.
To buy a car? A house? Some land? Then what? When well it ultimately be time to just chill and take time to one’s self?
Why does time always seem to strangle the fun and ease out of every single activity?
The struggle is in remaining present throughout it all. Wresting control from the past while limiting mental sojourns into the future.
Planning becomes a means of putting structure to something that can at times seem too unpredictable.
In reality, procrastination will perpetually persist for as long as time will allow.
The trick is to persevere regardless.
Fight through the funk and find the strength to function optimally.
Even if it seems too late or way past the appointed time.
If it is meant to be it will find its way to just...
BE.
iNi
A persistent work-in-progress
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