Occupation: Man

So I was having a conversation with my good fren Chella on MSN and we started talking about my Man Cabinet and how grateful we'd be to have just one of the men in the photograph.

The sentiments from that conversation drove me to write this prose:

If mi find a man like dat
Mi woulda stop work and mek him my occupation.
Mi not even sure if mi woulda eat,
Mi woulda jus hang on to him belt buckle and follow him round like a puppy.
bleach pon di buddy

I really hope god nuh send mi nuh man weh body ready suh
cus all my amibtions wud be out the door
poor mi

I woulda tun a housewife, better than that... houseslave
As a matter of fact
I woulda follow him guh work everyday
and siddung pon him table
Mi woulda inna him backpocket whole day!
anyting him need
a me dat!

All if him waah guh bathroom?
mi follow him
and tek out di buddy fi him
and if him nuh feel like hold it fi piss
I would gladly do it
and even give it two shake when him done
wipe it down wid baby wipes
and all powder it if him want
If I have a man like that
his every wish would be my command
I would cook, clean and wash
bathe and shave him

tuck him into bed at night
and wake him up to breakfast in bed each morning
he would want for nothing

all he would have to worry about is being him
and keeping that body looking right
everything else would be my responsibility

but then again
men like this only exist in dreams
and having such high expectations
only make every other man pale
in comparison

their simple flaws are magnified
and we are left unfulfilled
searching for the unattainable
and then we come to realise that
when it comes to men
inna disya man recession
we're sadly


need a man work or a worker man...whichever ;o)