What is Evolution?

“We began as a mineral.
We emerged into plant life, and into the animal state, and then into being human, and always we have forgotten our former states, except in early spring when we slightly recall being green again.
That’s how a young person turns towards a teacher.
That’s how a baby leans toward the breast, without knowing the secret of its desire, yet turning instinctively.
Humankind is being led along an evolving course, through the migration of intelligences, and though we seem to be sleeping, there is an inner wakefulness that directs the dream, and that will eventually startle us back to the truth of who we are.”
— The Story of Evolution
Rumi, 13th Century


Gaijin Hunters

I have often complained about how difficult it is for a gaijin [foreigner] woman in Japan to "date" a Japanese man. Especially a strong black woman like myself who tends to be overly-assertive and even aggressive at times. Based on my observations the majority of Japanese men tend to be timid, barely making eye contact with me much less starting a conversation and eventually asking me out. And as assertive as I may be, when it comes to the opposite sex I enjoy being pursued. Plus I'm not going to go out of my way to seek the affections of a man, regardless of his race. I would rather hug up a big mango tree!

However women going out of their way to procure a mate seems to be the norm over here. Personally I think it's because Japanese culture is highly chauvinistic. Women, to this day are still somewhat required to be seen and not heard; just stay home, make bentos and have babies. So why then would a Japanese man go through the trouble of learning English just to meet a Western woman who is only going to back answer him when he has a nice Japanese woman who is eager to do everything he needs and more. Hell if I was a gaijin man I'd get me a Japanese wife too!

That being said, I've observed the complete opposite case, in terms of dating, with my male gaijin counterparts. I mean a regular old Tom, Dick or Harry comes from the West to Japan and all of a sudden he's an Adonis! (not to my eyes but certainly to Japanese women) I mean Japanese women are practically throwing themselves at them! It's ridiculous. I go through almost 3 years in this country, being fairly capable of communicating in Japanese yet still a gaijin man can be in Japan for barely 3 months still unable to distinguish hello from thank you and he's already bagged 2-3 Japanese girls. JUST BECAUSE HE'S GAIJIN. It's bullshit and it only amplifies my frustrations.

Which leads me to the topic: Gaijin Hunters. For want of a better classification, a gaijin hunter is a Japanese woman who hangs around bars and clubs that gaijin men frequent for the sole purpose of scoring a gaijin boyfriend/ potential husband. So they study English and immerse themselves into this "foreigner culture" all in hopes of attracting a suitor who can one day take them back to their land. And of course 9 out of 10 times they succeed because most if not all gaijin men come to Japan to find a nice homely Japanese wife (or atleast get a piece ;o)

Now don't get me twisted, I am in no way saying that this is absolute. I know quite a few Japanese/Gaijin couples who are very happy together. I am mainly talking about the girls who throw themselves at gaijin men JUST BECAUSE they're gaijin. I mean they will stop at nothing to secure themselves a gaijin boyfriend. Some even willingly and knowingly put up with their adulterous behaviour. Well, duppy know who to frighten, cause not I!

Meanwhile, I sit here at the hinterland of my devotion to the black man wondering if it's time to step outside the box and start some "Nihonjin" [Japanese] hunting. Woe is me.


needs a bow and an arrow.

NadYa Dee


  1. More than once I've heard my female J-friends say that a gaijin guy, who I find to be at best average, is so good looking! I was a little shocked at the different experiences between gaijin guys and gaijin girls as far as relationships here. I think it takes a certain kind of man to be able to have a relationship with a foreign woman...


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Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."