What is Evolution?

“We began as a mineral.
We emerged into plant life, and into the animal state, and then into being human, and always we have forgotten our former states, except in early spring when we slightly recall being green again.
That’s how a young person turns towards a teacher.
That’s how a baby leans toward the breast, without knowing the secret of its desire, yet turning instinctively.
Humankind is being led along an evolving course, through the migration of intelligences, and though we seem to be sleeping, there is an inner wakefulness that directs the dream, and that will eventually startle us back to the truth of who we are.”
— The Story of Evolution
Rumi, 13th Century


Single Bell[e]

A month or so ago, while I was making arrangements for my big Xmas '09 vacation, the teacher beside me asked what I was doing and where I was going. So I told her "Singapore and Malaysia." She then told me about her visit to Singapore years before with her husband after which she asked me "with boyfriend?" with this joyfully expectant look on her face. When I told her that I was actually going by myself or perhaps with some other female friends of mine, her face suddenly changed then she remarked "Oh, you're a single bell!" with a huge grin on her face.

I, of course, didn't get the 'joke' immediately a) because Engrish (Japanese-English) is still pretty hard for me to decipher even now 2 years later and b) I am oblivious to jokes that are 'on me'.

After reading the quizzical expression on my face she proceeded to explain "Single bell, you know, like Jingle bell. Get it?" At which point I had to laugh, because it was pretty clever, when you think about it. Considering I AM travelling during Christmas vacation.

But beneath my laughter was this little voice telling me how true her statement really was. At first, it got me down. I mean, Christmas is one of those holidays when couples go off on vacations and families spend time together. Even pictures of Christmas bells were shown in pairs. The singularity of my current love life had me feeling quite alone. Which made the trip planning all that more strenuous.

Of course this 'Single Bell' -ness stayed on my mind for a long time. Nagging me, digging through my dusty box of sealed memories until it found what it was looking for. The relationship-log of Christmas past. It was then that I finally realised that I, Nadya Dee, am the quintessential 'Single Bell[e]'.

In my entire 23 years of celebrating Christmas on this earth I have never been 'a couple' on Christmas day. I might have been with someone on the day but I wasn't 'in a relationship' with them. I honestly didn't even realise this until this year. Wow.

Nevertheless, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to celebrate my independence from relations the best way I know how. I'm gunna go to Singapore and Malaysia and have the best mother-loving Christmas vacation ever WITHOUT a man tying me down and/or telling me where to go and what to do.

I will be FREEEEEE!!!

Counting down to Christmas day when I board that plane for my 7 hour flight out of this frigid icebox!


would still appreciate it if a nice young man would ring my bell, even once, this Christmas... le sigh.

Nadya Dee


  1. awwwwwwwwwwwwww Nadya!! but in all of this u dont have to be depending on anyone to be happy! ur happines is ur own!

  2. Single Belle, Soboliously Bountiful, Summa Body, Simply Blessed! SB the initials stick! My girl i wish i coulda forward for this trip, jah kno. Nuh mek nobody convince that being single is a curse. we kno the solution. Them a guh hate we, but a so it go. Needy bitches got their own lot to manage. So until then I'd rather be the one that is in the know, gets the calls for the gangsta flex, gets the boom wuk (consistently) and nuh haffi worry weh him deh 3 oclock a mawnin, cah a me sen him home dem time deh to the live-in u zimme.
    Fuck what they heard!
    Go have fun Sincere Beauty


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Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."