What is Evolution?

“We began as a mineral.
We emerged into plant life, and into the animal state, and then into being human, and always we have forgotten our former states, except in early spring when we slightly recall being green again.
That’s how a young person turns toward a teacher.
That’s how a baby leans toward the breast, without knowing the secret of its desire, yet turning instinctively.
Humankind is being led along an evolving course, through the migration of intelligences, and though we seem to be sleeping, there is an inner wakefulness that directs the dream, and that will eventually startle us back to the truth of who we are.”
— The Story of Evolution
Rumi, 13th Century

3.16.2008

Getting Rid of Unnecessary Men...

How do you tell a man that your brief sexual encounter was merely the result of your animalistic need for sexual satisfaction? How does one explain that there is no future for you both neither sexually nor otherwise when he seems so hell-bent on "spending time" or "seeing you again"?

What are those nonspecific hints that lets a man know that you are no longer interested? WITHOUT having to spell it out for him.When he behaves like a stray cat that is desperate for an owner, how do you send him back into the wild to fend for himself?

If I had a dollar for the amount of times I've been called a bitch, I could buy the internet. I'm just blunt like that. I tell shit as I see shit. But i'm not a confrontational type of person for the most part. I'm a writer, not a fighter. I prefer to write my feelings down that tell it to someone unprovoked.

Which I suppose is why I've never been able to tell a guy who swears he's a Stamina Daddy that the reason I'm avoiding his calls and going around him in general is that I'd rather be alone in bed with a battery operated device than suffer through the torture of his company.

And sometimes its not even the sex that's that bad, but just the pestering, the need for cuddling, the whispering in the ears when I'm trying to fall asleep i.e. pretend he isn't there.

I don't want romance, just hot passionate sex is fine, please and thank you.

But NO! I can't get what I want, I never get what it is I want. I get nagging men with small penises jabbing at my poor kitty while I close my eyes and try to remember what a good penis feels like.

I know, I should tell them the truth. Help them to get better. But why would I try to improve them when I'm already done? Let some other poor girl deal with that. This ain't no Sex Training Course. And so I end up helping no one. I lie and make up stories and they believe. SO they keep trying until that day I really can't take anymore (sometime around PMS time) and I tell them my mind. But it's not mild & it's not caring, it's frustration at its peak. Feelings get hurt and once again, I'M the bitch.

So I'm just wondering, how do you tell a guy that even though you had sex once/ twice/ thrice, you have little if no interest in a relationship with him, neither fuck buddy nor friend nor passing acquaintance and that what you'd really like to do is forget it all happened WITHOUT being called a bitch?

Or am I really just a BITCH?

Ain't this some shit.

Still Lacking Good Sex

Nadya Dee

Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."