What is Evolution?

“We began as a mineral. We emerged into plant life, and into the animal state, and then into being human, and always we have forgotten our former states, except in early spring when we slightly recall being green again. That’s how a young person turns toward a teacher. That’s how a baby leans toward the breast, without knowing the secret of its desire, yet turning instinctively. Humankind is being led along an evolving course, through the migration of intelligences, and though we seem to be sleeping, there is an inner wakefulness that directs the dream, and that will eventually startle us back to the truth of who we are.”
— The Story of Evolution - Rumi, 13th Century

4.11.2007

Chest Pains

I woke up yesterday with a pain in my back and thought that all I needed was a nice back rub followed by some wicked backshot to set me straight. After those plans fell through miserably, I decided to exercise it raas out...worked for a while, then the dull-sharp-dull pain returned. This sent me to bed early but alas the sharp pain woke me this morning and I had to draw for the hot water bottle and a nice piping hot cup of honey and ginger tea.

Needless to say, three cups of tea, two refills of the water bottle and a cup of soup later and I am still nowhere near to getting rid of this pain which seems to be riddling my whole body [ I think I feel it in my right arm now]. It constantly transports itself from my back to my chest to my belly bottom, and I relentlessly follow it around with my hot water bottle. I've just about given up on the hot water bottle and my Andrews are all expired, and if i drink another cup of tea I swear I going to start speaking Chinese. I've recieved multiplicitous suggestions from both friends and family as to how to get rid of this pain, from cane to young coconut water. But I think i'd rather to blog it away...

I've pooped/farted ad burped/belched throughout the whole day and the pain still persists, which leaves me with only one conclusion: I have heartburn a.k.a. heartache...

ridiculous sounding I know. But maybe just maybe my current emotional/ romantic situation has decided to manifest itself physically . Which means that until my heart is set to ease this pain will continue and grow until it consumes me whole.

So let me think...why would I be feeling this pain in my chest? Is love or the lack thereof trying to kill me?

I sure hope not...and if that's the case I should have been dead a long time ago. God knows I gave up on any prospect of love years aback.

Could it be the emergence of a past love in my life? Has that old wound been reopened? Is this a sign that I shouldn't even bother.

I believe in signs and if this isn't a sign I don't know what this is....or maybe I just need to adjust my eating patterns and stop going to sleep hungry... but how do I stop going to sleep horny and lonely?

Crackers and tea can't soothe everything...and maybe i've just been trying to soothe the wrong pain...

If that's the case then I need some TLC like my life depends on it...

wait I just pooped again...maybe it really is just gas...

Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."