Free Hugs

Hugs should be given freely. From the heart. Not coerced, not forced and certainly not because YOU want to hug ME. 

I am not a hugger. Of course I hug. But I only hug when the spirit moves me to embrace someone and ONLY when that person feels the same way. 

Embracing can be interpreted in so many different ways. For most it's a show of affection, but it can also be perceived as captivity, being consumed and overpowered by another. And I am a crab, if I feel overpowered the claws come out and I retreat into my shell.

You see, I like my personal space. And I don't like when people invade it. There are only a handful of people who I willingly accept into this personal space.

The rest are impositions. Imposing their need and desire to embrace and be embraced onto someone who VISIBLY does not want to be touched much less hugged. 

I say this now not out of contempt but out of mutual respect. I do my very best every day not to impose myself or my beliefs on to others. However I am a work in progress. 

Sometimes I want to hug and/or cuddle but only when the time and situation calls for it. 

You therefore do not NEED to hug and kiss me every time you see me. This can only be interpreted as a certain level of dependency on YOUR part that is looking for a host on which to carry out its parasitic tendencies. 

If you do however feel moved to hug me when you see me, try gauging my mood first before making initial approach. If I step back this MAY BE a sign that I don't want to be touched. It has nothing to do with you. I may be PMSing or sweaty or just not in the mood for contact with others. I get stressed out and touching me only makes that stress level rise. 

I know it may seem selfish but I think everyone should be allowed the right to refuse hugs. A law should be passed or something: Proposition DON'T TOUCH ME! 

Also for you chronic huggers out there, why would you want a hug from someone who CLEARLY doesn't want to hug you? Doesn't that make you feel like I dunno... a creep?

The bottom line is... hugging is not for everyone. And for those who do engage in hugging, it should be free, not something you feel forced into because then that just defeats the whole purpose of the hug in the first place. 

This is something I have been needing to get off of my chest for a while now and now that I have...


still don't need a hug

NadYa Dee