9.30.2011

Something more

Lately I have been imbued with the sense of something more. My on and off love affair with love affairs has left me weary of ever finding my twin flame. It seems as if every time I think I'm near I get burnt. 
Like a moth attracts to light I am incapable of detaching myself from repeating the same mistakes, over and over again. 

It's time for me to start wanting more. To start believing that I deserve more. More than everything I've been presented with thus far. More than lies and equivocations. I used to think that I settled for mediocre because there was nothing better out there. But now that I know that I am co-creator of my own experiences then I am only to be blamed. For lowering my standards and devaluing my self-worth. 

For allowing others to decide what's good enough for me. When they were the worst. Catalysts of my broken heart.

So I'm going to stop searching for "true love", stop waiting around for signs. I'm going to actively decide to get what is mine. 

And I won't settle for less than what is due to me. Something more than late night calls, momentary adoration, blatant disrespect and late night tears. 

So I'll tell the moon my fears and cast them deep into the night. 

Then wake to a new dawn, a new day.

Just Me, Myself and 

iNi

Nadya Dee