10.26.2009

The Penis Prayer


Today, I pray, for a penis of my own, to have and to hold, til death do we part.
I pray for a penis that will be mine for all time.
Today, I make an appeal to the god of phallus, 'send a penis to me'.
A penis that knows how to tease me and please me.
A penis who knows my needs and my desires.
A penis that knows just what to do to bring me to ecstasy.

And I promise that I'll never let it go. I'll never hurt it nor mistreat it, I'll protect it with my life. When it's feeling soft and weak, I'll make it hard and strong. I'll do it no wrong.

This is not penis envy, to be a man is not my dream.
This is greed.
For I am a selfish woman and I know that if I ever do find that one penis that satisfies me in every way conceivable, I'd want to keep it to myself. I'd want to lock it in a cage and hide the key in my most secret place.
I'd never part with it, not for love nor money.
You see, I know the value of a good penis and I know the lengths women will go through to procure one. So while I pray for this penis, a penis made just for me, I also pray that no bitch will ever try to contest. Cause I WILL cut her!

So as I embark on another unpeenified day I pray that the god who rules over this magnificent specimen will grant me this one wish.

A big, thick, beautiful peen
(with my full name [in all CAPS, bold and double spaced] tattooed on the shaft)

just for me

NadYa Dee

SELAH.