11.15.2008

Nadya Dee :: Coming Soon...

I don't blog anymore.
I don't even write.
No more stories of clandestine love affairs
no more erotic tales of forbidden fruits.

Because I've lost my mojo.
That passion that made everything within me and around me ignite has fizzled.
I've lost my edge, my spunk and vigor because all I've been doing lately is trying to stay afloat,
simply trying to survive this thing called life.

Now all I do is bitch and moan about how hard it is to be an adult, independent and responsible for my own survival.
I am trying to find me in a place that seems to have a vendetta against all that I am.
And now I think I've lost my mind and I need to find it back soon before it is lost to me forever.
But I know where it is. It's in a place far away from here.
It has left me here, a shell of frustration.



Now it sits upon a rock, listening to the rustling of the leaves, the conversations between elements.
It's lighting a big head and inhaling the freedom of knowing who I am and what I am to be.
It is at peace.
Relaxed and stress-free.
Where my mind is now, it has no bills to pay, no apartment to clean, no plane tickets to buy, no students to teach, no speeding tickets to pay and no time to wait.
My mind, upon that rock, awaits my arrival with bated breath.

A train, a bus, 2 planes and 36 days now separate me from my sanity.
and until then I am detached, merely tending towards my exodus
Anticipating penetration, elevation and rejuvenation.
Quenching this everlasting yearning for home.
Preparing for that cataclysmic accession; that devastating flood.
a complete renewal. reuniting me with myself.
mind body and soul

But this is not a blog.
This here
This is cognition

Nadya Dee
Coming Soon...