3.26.2007

The Matey Chronicles - [Chapter Need to Know]

What does it take to be a Mate?

The task of being a matey is not a simple nor easy one. Though oftentimes viewed as a "home-wrecker" or jezebel, and in olden days even stoned for adultery, a matey is only as good (or bad) as her mate. Each matey situation is unique onto itself, dependent on the extent of the relationship and the scruples of the man/men involved. But there are a few things that are generic, certain things that a matey must be able to cope with, to be a proper mate.

Here they are:

Firstly, a proper matey must never trust her male companion. That's wifey's job. The better wifey carries out her duties, the easier it will be for you.

Secondly, matey must never answer his phone and must always understand that when wifey calls she is to be silent and on her best behaviour. Also in cases of face-to-face contact, matey must not acknowledge any acquaintance between herself and her mate, as another duty of the wife is to be erratically jealous of any hot girl, which goes on to my...

Third criteria:
A true mate, is and always will be a HOT GIRL! Wives tend to lack self-confidence, style and sex appeal. Now i'm not saying all wives, I am merely referring to the wives whose men are giving them bun. So who the cap fits let them wear it.

Fourthly, Mates must never cook, clean or do laundry for these married/taken men. Those duties fall under wife, your duties are mainly in the sex/ relaxation area. Wifey isn't helping you there so don't help her. Mateys who have been conned into believing that they are wives in training, SNAP OUT OF IT! He's not leaving her for you and even if he does, don't you think he's just going to do the same thing to you. Old dogs rarely try new tricks.

Fifthly, NEVER EVER EVER EVER give the man money. As stated before, the support of Mr. Mention is solely the responsibility of wifey. A nuh she a di wife, man first choice, she wear di ring etc. So make her press him clothes and give him lunch money. Just be sure to collect whats due to you. After all a HOT GIRL has got to stay HOT!

Sixthly, If you don't have the good hole then is better you reassess whether or not you can handle the position of Matey. Note Well: Men leave wives with not-so-good holes and run down matey who has the tight underneath. If you have had a child or are slack for any other reason, stick to the cooking and cleaning, it suits you better.

AND last but certainly not least, NEVER fall in LOVE. Love is what separates us from the wives. When they find our numbers in his phone or our draws in the car, love is what shuts them up and keeps them docile. If you EVER find yourself falling in love, please turn in your Matey badge and step to the back with the other wives. Thank you!

That's all for now folks...lol

Nadya Dee.