Matey Queen

I (and this blog) were recently featured on Christopher 'Johnny' Daley's show on Di Endz nationwide fm on the subject of "Matey" .

Apparently I'm some sort of an expert. I wasn't aware.  What will my mother think? *gasp* 

Any ways, on Friday January 13, the topic was "Secrets to tekking a girl man" and they asked me for my "expertly" opinion. As soon as I get a copy I'll post a link to it so you can listen. 

But before I get into the retelling  of this story let me once again disclaim that I have never and have no plans to tek a girl man.  For the record. Unequivocally. 

I mean seriously. Why tek a man anyways? I consider myself more of a borrower. I always return them to their rightful owner(s).  

And without casting certain blame on the main provocateur in this situation I.e. the men let me just make one thing clear:

The grass is always greener on the other side. Men always want what they can't have. Until they have it. Then suddenly they want something else. Hopping from green pasture to green pasture. Like praedial larcenists. And because they are all cowards they don't have the common decency to make a clean break and move on. No. They keep stringing women along.  

And we as women let them. Yes. We do. We allow them to keep up their shenanigans because scientific empirical  data has found that there are less men than women. And fewer good single successful men at that.

 So what else are we left  to do but share? I mean Sharing is Caring.

Its just a question of who u willing to share and why. 

But for those of you out there who share my sharing sentiments always remember to return to lender. 

Or else you'll end up in a situation like Tanya here beggin wifey to take back her man. 

(Phone Conversation)

Tanya: Hello, Natalie? This is Tanya.

Natalie: Tanya who? You mean Tanya who tek meh man and gwaan like she waan broke fight pon mi pon top ah it?!

Tanya: But Natalie datta when me was young and foolish.....

Natalie: Foolish?! That was last year! 

Tanya: But people change...

Natalie: No change! No, I don't waan hear it!

--Hold On-

Verse 1:

Back inna day me an me friend dem used to move ex

cut and go tru das how deh crew used to flex

any man we see and we waan we jus tek

gyal talk too hard get ah kick inna she neck well

couple of times you used to call me pon de phone 

cuss me how fi left your husband alone

ah jus now me ah fully understand 

why me really need fi leave your man

cuz him refuse to look wuk so his pockets stay bruck

cant mash ah ants but him want to chuck 

you say you really love me nah fight dat 

wifey please come tek him back

Chorus:

And you can find im clothes dem pon de lawn

if when you come you nuh see me me gone

'cause me no love how yuh man ah peform

so, tek him back, wifey, tek him back

Look how me used to brag and show off

down inna de end you have de last laugh

even if it even means dat mi haffi pop off

you ah go tek him back, wifey, tek him back

you betta tek him ( repeat), you haffi tek him back (repeat), you betta tek him back ( repeat)

Verse 2:

Me tink him was ah de toppa de top even bottom ah top

Ah him friendly wid every piece ah ice imma rock

ah tell me bout him have ah drop-top and ah yacht

meh caan believe ah gyal like me fall fi dat!

if me nevah did so vex me woulda find it funny

when me ready fi spend and find out him nah have no money

Free paper wa me geh him meh have to turn down buddy

me ah givim back to you cuz him ah really your honey

Me look kinda magga widdim , himm look kinda cute

but youfi really have im cuz you have him youth

say you realy love him but me nah fight dat

wifey, please, come tek him back!

Chorus

Verse 3:

Well ah de 1st rule ah shopping 

let de buyer beware

be careful how yuh tek a gyal man go dere

yuh might grab someting when she jus about fi dash

cuz one gyal treasure is anudda gyal trash

me notice certain likkletrend datta gwaan

man alwayz look betta inna de nex gyal arms but im neva fail soon as de nex gyal gone

de newness rub off and de man lose de charm

When de clothes dem reach de lawn

You woulda pray to God him would pack and gwaan

have a cute face but him nah perform so tek him back

wifey tek him back

Look how me used to brag and show off

down inna de end you have de last laugh

if it even me say me haffi pop off

you haffi tek him back 

yuh betta tek him back

LOLz. I heart this song! 

As far as I and I am concerned as Marion Hall so righty put it: If him lef a nuh my pussy fault...dwl.

iNi 

 should start up a matey counseling service. 

Tightly yours

Your Mate, 

Nadya Dee