12.01.2008

The "PumPum" Playlist

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. I, Nadya Dee-Anne, in the weeks leading up to my departure from this frigid, barren land (where the sun may rise but surely nothing else does) will be doing a blog series called the “PumPum” Playlist.

Why? You may ask. Well, this is something that has been on my mind for a while now (Yes, because sex is always on my mind, because it certainly isn’t in my bed!). So in preparation for my re-corruption, my re-deflowering, jumping back on the saddle, slaying the dragon (you get the point right?)I have created my very own “PumPum” Playlist.

Whathehellaah? Well, for those who don’t know what PumPum is:

PumPum may be defined as the part of the female anatomy that gives pleasure and pain, birth and death. Just like the buddy is a man’s weapon/tool, so too is the woman’s PumPum; it holds her strength, and also her weakness. PumPum possesses the power to bring men to their knees (literally). It has been called the Pussy, Poo-naa-nee, Phatness, the vagina, chun-chun and so on but so as not to come off too lewd I have decided to stick with “PumPum”.

Also in light of Lee Scratch Perry’s new single entitled, you guessed it, “Pum Pum”. [Click here for video] I figured if Scratch can make a song called Pum Pum there should be no problem with my usage of the word in this medium. However, if the following contents of this blog are offensive to you in any way, please and kindly TEK WEH YUHSELF. Mi dun talk!

Preface

If you have ever had amazing, mind-blowing sex you’d know that, contrary to popular belief, sex is not a race to see who comes first, but a dance, sometimes slow and sensual, sometimes fast and vigorous, sometimes a mixture of both with a few intervals. Whenever you engage in the act of having sex your bodies together find a rhythm and you both ride that rhythm until you reach your peak; the crescendo to a perfectly orchestrated piece.
Sex is actually a lot like music. It embodies an experience above and beyond just the physical. Sex and Music are both like a drug, lifting you higher, taking you to a plane in which nothing matters, where time freezes and everything stops except for the bare essentials, flesh on flesh, deep breathing, hearts beating. For me, music is the catalyst to every sexual experience. Whether it’s “heavy petting” (has anyone ever actually used this phrase? Damn Tween books), making “love” or knocking boots (yes I said it, because sometimes the boots needs to be knocked OKaaay!) music is a necessary evil.

Look at the Dancehall, from its genesis Reggae Dancehall was used as a method of sexual expression. Need I say “Love Punnani Bad”? Even in recent years dances like “hot wuk” and now this “daggering” phenomena are all indicative of our obsession with sex. Admit it, there are just some songs that once you hear the beat you just want to start thrusting your pelvis at the first (attractive) member of the opposite sex. Because the truth is sex as with music are things that touch your inner self. There are few people who don’t enjoy both. Some (like yours truly) enjoy them much more than others of course, but it is undeniable that both music and sex possess the ability to transform people into sexual fiends.

The “PumPum” Playlist in itself is a transition. It sets the tempo of the intercourse. Starting off slow and sensual at first, you remove the possibility of any false starts (if you know what I mean). These are the tunes that are guaranteed to drop any kinda draas. Whether it be thong, g-string, t-string, baggy or bingo. They generally start with a seductive introduction from the artist. Then the instrumental comes in and you feel your body start swaying to the beat. As you process the words, it’s like the song is talking to you, and in that instance you realize just how horny you are.

Songs like these are dagger-proof. No slam-bam thank you ma’am. If you are looking to have a quickie... DO NOT I repeat DO NOT play these songs. You will only be leading your partner on, giving them the illusion that you plan to pull an all-nighter.

Which leads me to another important point: I have designed this playlist under the impression that you plan to prolong the sexual encounter for longer than 10 minutes. I would say the minimum is 80 minutes (considering a CD generally holds around 80 minutes). For those of you like myself who enjoy those all night marathons, there’s Disc One – Slow Jams (the warm up section), Disc Two – Freaky shit (If you’re not into freaky shit I would suggest moving on to the next Disc), Disc Three – Hot Wuk (self explanatory) and Disc Four – Cool Down (yes, because sex is like exercise and when it’s over and done you need to calm yourself down and possibly have a glass of water). Now there is no strict rule of how to use your own personalized “PumPum” Playlist. This is just a guideline. You may like to get straight into the excitement first. Whatever floats your boat! But just remember, just because you keep going like the energy bunny doesn’t mean that anyone is getting any pleasure from the experience, and if that’s the case, then I suggest you take a break, change the CD and regroup.

I’ve designed the “PumPum” Playlist for a number of reasons: Firstly, for those veterans out there who know exactly what I’m talking about, if you have any suggestions or corrections to make, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line. For those who have been having sex but have yet to hit the jackpot, this may be just the thing to take your sex to that next level. Plus it’s just a really convenient playlist to have in your possession. Whether it’s for a regular booty call or first time sex, having a ready-made list of songs minimizes those awkward moments when one person comes and the other one is getting ready to go. If worse come to worse and you find yourself with a less than satisfactory partner then just get lost in the music because nothing is worse than awkward non-sex in silence.

In the next few weeks, each day I will attempt the compilation of the “PumPum” playlist series, Disc One straight through to Disc Four. Please feel free to add suggestions or queries because this playlist is not just for me. It’s for us all.
Tomorrow I will start with the Slow Jams Disc. For those rainy nights when you and your significant other may be wrapped up in bed, cuddling, just light a scented candle or some incense and let the music take you to your final destination.

Until then... (8)I feel so...freaky tonight. And I need someone to make me feel alright. So bring your body here baby...(8).

NadYaDee